I am hoping to move in a year. The pursuit is becoming tiring. I have a plan in mind but when you are working with someone who changes their mind, their mood and does not understand what they want, the hunt feels further away.
Even though I am an extrovert, I don’t care about city life. My perception of the perfect place is a location away from everybody.
I prefer large land so I can develop projects. I wish for a useful space where I can have all that I need, including an office area soundproof for production. I want natural lights for indoor photography. I also don’t care if I am very far from everybody. Whoever visits can make the trip. I don’t plan on throwing family barbeques or host a party.
My demands are not outrageous.
With him? He needs a massive space. For what? I don’t know. He spends most of his time in one room than he does in many.
I learn he demands a massive garage. He wants a workout area. He wants a cinema room. He wants over three bedrooms. The residence has to have large acreage and the square footage has to be over 3000 square ft. When asking if he will clean that large of a space, he answers no?
Plus, I don’t understand why we need so many bedrooms if it’s just us. Two bodies. Childless. Is he planning on moving his parents in? They don’t even want us at their place, let alone spending a night at our place.
Materials Do Not Represent You
Ever run into someone who feels like all they own represents who they are? Does it all matter?
I never let materials identify my prosperity, joy, and wellbeing. What represents me is the bliss I enjoy every day. I live with limited to nothing. What makes me happy is waking up realizing that I have something fascinating to look forward to every day. Writing.
That sounds ludicrous. People hate writing. Even those who manage it for a living become discouraged when they have to do it. I love writing and I enjoy coding. The minute I wake up, I would reach for my laptop and start composing. Most of my writing is precise and sweet. It ends up on my blog and it’s for free.
Some features in life that do not provide a settlement or responsibility are relaxing and intoxicating.
I enjoy putting things in order and designing. I have spreadsheets of subjects spelled out for my hobbies and projects. I guess you can say that my projects will merely cost me a Wi-Fi network. We can talk about hobbies and systems in another post. Let’s go back to the relocation project.
What He Wants Versus What I Want
Every married couple has their own likes and dislikes. An agreement exists with the compromise. Some do it more than others, and it shifts into cynicism.
We differ on a collection of things because I prefer a simple lifestyle. He wants everything modern and extravagant. I don’t mind settling in a tight space because I do not desire a lot of things. I think about space realistically. Is the area going to be enough and comfortable to clean? Will I work in each room efficiently? Will I have neighbors? Heck, I am relaxed in a studio apartment. Everything is in an arm’s reach and I don’t intend to host events where I live.
He doesn’t like small because he states he might need more features later. He craves the capacity for those qualities. He loves to shop. Sometimes I think if money was not an issue, he would shop mindlessly. He demands a massive garage where he can house a hundred of cars just to glance at it. He can tell me he wants to work on them as a project, but that’s where the issues remain.
When he asserts he wants to work on it, he is implying that he wants US to work on it. The project would turn into an infuriating one. He would voluntold me to finish things that I never agree to from the beginning.
He has issues with asking if that’s what I want before taking that leap. He expects it to be a no question ask type of observation.
Now if I was to do something like that, we would have a dilemma. I would never find out the result. Most of his reply would be, “But I know nothing about computers!”
I know just as much about cars as he does computers, but I help him put his projects together. That’s how we see house hunting. This is how we establish an understanding.
I am certain he will choose that vast space and I will not tidy up his extra mess, which will drive to a colossal quarrel. I am aware of it, and that’s how I make him learn. Some individuals learn through mistakes and some learn from their wives, declining to cater to their obnoxious demands.
The ludicrous part is, once he gets this gigantic space, I can ensure that he will still discover a way not to be thrilled. Material wants to solve one’s contentment temporarily. Unless you understand yourself and what you genuinely want, you will constantly explore, wasting time looking for these factors to fill the void.
Therefore, it is important to learn these things at an early age, so you will not have to be confused as you get older.
As for the house search. I will still compromise, but space will have to be adequate. He can have his garage. He can have his dogs. You better believe that he will have to learn to tidy up after all of it because mama will be unavailable for the next few years.
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